The Big Board

The small attic bedroom shared by two sisters was full of schoolbooks, clothes, ice skates and dreams. It was a simple time with simple expectations. Eventually, each found a love to build a life and got married and started a family. There were bumps in the road as expected, but nothing that couldn’t be overcome…until it that day. The day when one sister’s existence changed from simply living to fighting for her husband’s life.

Six months, a blur of doctor visits, treatments, medicine and pain. Then as suddenly as it began it ended. Hodgkin’s had claimed a beloved father in his early 30’s. Yes, his pain had ended, but my Aunt’s was just beginning. So devastated from the loss of her husband she crawled into her own little world. Getting up in the morning was a battle often lost. In her despair she asked her sister to take her three little ones and raise them as her own.

I was a young girl when this happened, but I distinctly remember the many conversations about my Aunt. Things progressed to a point where My Grandparents sold their home and moved in with her for several years until she was able to heal. As a child I could not understand her inability to function in her sadness. But it caused me to write a “rule on my big board”...Don’t ever let this happen to you!

For many years I refused to give anyone my whole heart. In an effort to protect myself, I had reserved a piece that would allow me to survive if I lost someone I truly loved. John 10:10 says, “The thief comes only to steal, and kill, and destroy; I came that they might have life, and might have it abundantly.” Strong’s defines abundantly as “beyond measure”. The word might, implies choice. I was choosing to measure my risk in every situation and allowing the enemy to rob me of this promise.

Have you lost a loved one?

Did someone you trust mistreat you?

Did a friend betray you?

Did a child take you for granted?

Were you unjustly ridiculed?

All of these can cause us to play it safe and live under our potential. To not only miss the “abundant” blessings but keep us off the playing field. What’s on your list of rules? These are still simple times with simple expectations. Erase the big board and choose an abundant life!

Baby Girl

The moment Emma, “Baby Girl”, opened her eyes she was swooped up into the loving arms of Aibileen. The kindly woman held tight to her precious bundle as she sat down in a rocking chair. Her warm hug affirmed, “I Love You!” She set Baby Girl up so they were eye to eye, and as she held her little face in her hands she said, “You is smart, you is kind, you is important.”

This is my favorite scene from the movie The Help. Baby Girl was born into a world of privilege yet she seemed to have no favor at all. Her crime, she was not beautiful by her mother’s estimation and therefore shown no love.

How harsh the world’s standards of beauty, prosperity, education and accomplishments can be. While Baby Girl’s mother was more focused on how shiny the silver was or how she looked in her new dress, Aibileen was focused on instilling identity. She knew that Baby Girl would need that grounding in order to walk out her position in life with grace.

Don’t we all want that? I know I want to be gracious in the face of impossible and often crushing expectations. The only way to do that is to let God instill our identity. While praying about this post, I felt very strongly that He wanted a moment with each and every one of you. Please take this time to come before Him…He has something to tell you.

Picture yourself standing before the throne. Your Father is smiling and so happy you have come. Now, crawl on up and sit on His lap. Look Him right in the eyes and feel His hands take hold of your precious face as He says....

“You are mine.”

“I have chosen you.”

“No one can snatch you from my hand.”

Baby Girl, this is who you are. Never forget that your name is engraved into the hands of the One who holds you up. No matter what we must temporarily endure it does not compare to what is ours eternally.

"You Either Trust Me or You Do Not."

On a cold winter night as the world slumbered under a new blanket of snow, one man remained awake. The innocent, the sweet, and the unsuspecting could not even imagine the menacing force that prowled outside. He scoured the neighborhood seeking whom he may devour indiscriminate in his quest. And then he found it, an unlocked door. Within minutes one child’s life was ended, another permanently scared and a third ripped from her home. After her innocence was harshly stolen, she was discarded as cruelly as the acts perpetrated upon her.

My friend was a beautiful girl of seventeen who could light up a room with her smile. I learned of her violent end on the nightly news. In my eighteen years nothing had so profoundly affected me as this random event. I cannot begin to imagine all that has followed for this sweet family, but I can attest to the impact it has had on me. To this day, I walk around the house and check all the doors before going to bed. Though I clung to Psalm 4:8 “In peace I will both lie down and sleep. For Thou alone, O Lord, dost make me to dwell in safety.” it would be many years before I was able to give the fear over and trust in these words.

Last night as I was preparing for bed I noticed an open window in the bathroom my husband is remodeling. It is very old and so badly warped I could not with all my strength muscle it shut. I was growing anxious as I thought; a man could definitely fit through that opening, my daughters bedroom is right next door, can I wake my husband up in time if someone were to come through it…..on and on it went. Then I caught my self. I needed to talk to the only one who had the power to affect the situation. As I prayed and asked God to watch over my house and keep us safe I heard “You either trust Me or you do not.”

Old wounds have a way of resurfacing from time to time. I believe it is inevitable, but what we do with the situation determines much.

I could have believed that since my fear had returned God never really healed me. I could have let fear keep me awake and give the enemy victory over the night. I could have tried to solve the problem myself and hammer the window into place or board it up. I could have dismissed the prompting to pray.

Because I chose to pray, I was not only blessed with a night’s sleep, but also reassured that when God heals it is done, finished, and complete. I was able to look an old wound right in the face and say…you have no power over me.

One last thought. I mentioned that to this day I check the doors before I go to bed. I do this because it is the prudent thing to do. If you were an alcoholic you would not go to a bar every night saying, “God has removed this temptation from me.” Likewise, no sane person would stand in the middle of a six-lane highway and say, “God will not allow me to get hit by a car.” Being wise in your decisions does not mean you lack faith. However, when you have done your part, "You either trust Him or you do not."