On a cold winter night as the world slumbered under a new blanket of snow, one man remained awake. The innocent, the sweet, and the unsuspecting could not even imagine the menacing force that prowled outside. He scoured the neighborhood seeking whom he may devour indiscriminate in his quest. And then he found it, an unlocked door. Within minutes one child’s life was ended, another permanently scared and a third ripped from her home. After her innocence was harshly stolen, she was discarded as cruelly as the acts perpetrated upon her.
My friend was a beautiful girl of seventeen who could light up a room with her smile. I learned of her violent end on the nightly news. In my eighteen years nothing had so profoundly affected me as this random event. I cannot begin to imagine all that has followed for this sweet family, but I can attest to the impact it has had on me. To this day, I walk around the house and check all the doors before going to bed. Though I clung to Psalm 4:8 “In peace I will both lie down and sleep. For Thou alone, O Lord, dost make me to dwell in safety.” it would be many years before I was able to give the fear over and trust in these words.
Last night as I was preparing for bed I noticed an open window in the bathroom my husband is remodeling. It is very old and so badly warped I could not with all my strength muscle it shut. I was growing anxious as I thought; a man could definitely fit through that opening, my daughters bedroom is right next door, can I wake my husband up in time if someone were to come through it…..on and on it went. Then I caught my self. I needed to talk to the only one who had the power to affect the situation. As I prayed and asked God to watch over my house and keep us safe I heard “You either trust Me or you do not.”
Old wounds have a way of resurfacing from time to time. I believe it is inevitable, but what we do with the situation determines much.
I could have believed that since my fear had returned God never really healed me. I could have let fear keep me awake and give the enemy victory over the night. I could have tried to solve the problem myself and hammer the window into place or board it up. I could have dismissed the prompting to pray.
Because I chose to pray, I was not only blessed with a night’s sleep, but also reassured that when God heals it is done, finished, and complete. I was able to look an old wound right in the face and say…you have no power over me.
One last thought. I mentioned that to this day I check the doors before I go to bed. I do this because it is the prudent thing to do. If you were an alcoholic you would not go to a bar every night saying, “God has removed this temptation from me.” Likewise, no sane person would stand in the middle of a six-lane highway and say, “God will not allow me to get hit by a car.” Being wise in your decisions does not mean you lack faith. However, when you have done your part, "You either trust Him or you do not."
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