The Pride Test

Over the next ten weeks I will be sharing from our home study group.  Last night we had our first of ten studies in the Dream to Destiny series. The Pride Test was very eye opening.  Please do not read the first line, "God has a dream for you" and say, "Heard that 1,000 times...no thank you."  Pastor Robert Morris makes some very good points about how we never reach our destiny because of known or unknown pride in our life.  If you are thinking, "I've already dealt with pride." Did you know that with each new level of responsibility or authority comes a new pride test?  This is an issue we will visit many times in our life.

If we missed you this week, you can view The Pride Test at www.gatewaypeople.com  Click on the media tab and look for the broadcast from April 2013.  It's not to late to join us next week.  Looking forward to jumping in the pit with you and viewing, The Pit Test.  Sounds fun! 

The Pride Test – Study Notes

1.  God has a dream for you.

If you want to know what the dream is you are going to have to get to know God.

2.  Don’t brag about the dream.

Don’t tell everyone, just be faithful and do it!

            a.  Pride always has to have a voice.

            b.  Pride always has to have an opinion.

            c.  Pride always interrupts people.

3.  Deal with the root of pride.

The root of pride is insecurity.

4.  The dream you were given is not the same as the destiny.  The dream is a maturing time to get ready for the destiny.

Joseph was given a dream that his brothers would bow down to him.  The objective/destiny was not that he would have others bow down to him rather that he would be in a place of authority to save them (famine). 

The most misquoted verse in the bible:

Pride goes before ____________.  Most would instinctively say, “fall”.  However, Proverbs 16:18 tells us “Pride goes before destruction.”  People think if I fall I will just get up.  Destruction is a whole different ballgame.  God in His grace and mercy will allow difficulties and obstacles so we will stop and turn toward him lest we be destroyed. 

1 Corinthians 4:4 (NASB)

4 For I am conscious of nothing against myself, yet I am not by this acquitted; but the one who examines me is the Lord.

Application Point:

1.  Use the three pride statements above as a jumping off place.  Each night this week set aside 5min to ask one of these questions. Do I always have to have a voice?  Do I always have an opinion? Do I interrupt?  If so, what is the root of my insecurity that causes this?  I am merely looking for an opportunity for God to speak to each of us individually about things we may or may not know. (1Cor 4:4) If you don’t feel these questions apply to you, ask anyway.  You might be surprised where it leads. Remember the end goal is not condemnation, but rather allowing God to equip us for our destiny, which will ultimately glorify Him. 

Blessings – Bonnie

The Red Leather Coin Purse

The first time I went to see her I was a little afraid.  My mother had warned my brothers and I to be on our best behavior.  “No running around, be quiet and use your manners”, she stated firmly.  We tentatively approached the old brick building.  The door was opened but it was so dark inside our eyes couldn’t make out anything.   As we moved down the hallway we came to a sitting room with sparse furnishings.  The back windows were open and as our eyes adjusted we noticed an elderly lady sitting in a chair.   As she rose to welcome her guests I noted that she was all of four foot nothing and quite stiff as she moved.  I suspect now my mother feared we would blow her over with the slightest movement, thus the warning to mind our manners.  She smiled warmly and greeted us with a twinkle in her eye.  She had a surprise and had been waiting all day for us to come visit.  She walked over to a table and picked up a jar.  She handed it to my father who was instructed to spread the contents out on the carpet “for the children” she said.  We sat down as he poured out hundreds of shinny copper pennies. We couldn’t believe our good fortune.  I looked up to see the little lady beaming from ear to ear, but she wasn’t done yet.  She went back to the table, grabbed her handbag and pulled out a beautifully worn red leather coin purse.  She handed it to my father and motioned for him to add it to the pile.  She cheerfully gave all that she had right down to the last cent.  My brothers and I spent a great deal of time counting out the coins and dividing them up equally. All the while, my parents visited over a cup of coffee.  Every time I glanced their way she seemed to notice and would turn and smile at me.  It clearly gave her great joy to bless us with all she was able to give.

This little lady was my great grandmother.  She was born and raised in England and was everything you can imagine an English Lady to be.  Well mannered, soft spoken, sweet, gentle and loved us with all her heart simply because we were her family.  I must admit I was immediately taken with her sweetness and I loved her too.  Sadly, we lived in another state and were only able to visit a few times before she went home to the Lord.  At that time, I was given her beautifully worn red leather coin purse.  It became my prized possession as it reminded me of the little lady who not only loved me without condition but, gave all she had because of it.

I kept the coin purse in my drawer.  I had just finished counting it’s contents, a whole seven dollars, which I accumulated from my chores when my brother came into my room.  He told me he had a special secret hiding place for his money and at the ripe old age of ten, I discerned this was very wise.  I went to my father and told him I needed a special secret hiding place of my own and he suggested I put the coin purse in his sock drawer.  Brilliant!  No one would ever suspect I put my money there.  A week or so later I went back to my special secret hiding place and to my surprise the coin purse was gone.  I immediately went to my father and asked him what happened to the coin purse and he replied “What coin purse? I don’t know what you are talking about. ” 

My prized possession, my red leather coin purse was gone.  Never mind the seven dollars I had amassed in it.  The gift from my Great Grandmother was gone.  I was heartbroken. 

I only tell you the next part of the story to say it is not the point of my telling.  It seems like a logical end, but as it turns out God had a better ending. 

I loved my earthly father with all my heart, but the simple truth is, he had a drinking problem.  I realized shortly after this event that the cost of a case of Schlitz beer, his drink of choice, was…you guessed it… seven dollars.  Exactly the amount contained in my coin purse.  After wrestling with betrayal, loss of trust, dishonesty and down right selfishness, I mean let’s be honest this child was sideswiped, I decided to love the man and hate the brokenness. This practice served me well over the years.  I was able to put up healthy boundaries and keep my heart intact and un-jaded.  While this is truth, as I said there is a better ending to come.  As a side note, I am happy to say my father recommitted his life to Jesus, was sober and I have no doubt he loved me with all his heart. 

While doing my morning study I came to a verse that immediately brought to mind this event and with one fell swoop completely overtook my previous mindset.  Just when I thought it was settled and completely in the past the old pit in the stomach came back.  The one where you know that you buried something in your own understanding and God was about to reveal a truth so amazingly beautiful it would bring tears to your eyes.  I have to admit that my eyes are spilling over just now as I write this.  God is so complete in our restoration that he leaves no stone unturned.  Even the ones we stomp into the ground.  But I am getting ahead of myself.

Indulge me a moment while I share the verses from my Beth Moore study Beloved Disciple.  Romans 5:8 says “God demonstrated his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”  One of the most significant qualities found in Gods brand of love is that it is demonstrative. In other words, show me don’t tell me! Christ directed His followers to love as He loved them. 1 John 3:18 says, “Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.”  Again, one of the most important dimensions of agape love is that it is demonstrative.  So what did I learn?  The gift was not the red leather coin purse.  I was the love behind it. A gift that could never be taken away. The love that Christ demonstrated is the same love we as believers are instructed to extend to others.  My great grandmother gave everything she had simply because of who I was, to her. This was the true gift. 

Is there a loss, which has left a big gaping hole in your heart; a relationship, a better time, perhaps even an object that was merely a symbol of affection?  Could it be that the love behind each of these things is tucked deep inside your heart where it can never be taken away? 

Finally, if my Great Grandmother, being of flesh, gave so much simply because of who I was, to her.  Imagine the breadth and length and height and depth of Christ’s love simply because of who we are, to Him.

Hold On

Do you ever feel like the whole world is pressing in on you?  Feel like you are trapped with no feasible way out? I have never been comfortable in confined spaces.  I am certain that when I was an infant swaddled in a blanket I was screaming inside, “Let me out!” Frankly, that feeling has not diminished as an adult.  When I met my husband he played in a band.  He loved live music so while dating we went to many concerts.  I tried to focus on the music, but my stress increased throughout the evening as I looked at the size of the crowd and anticipated the mass exodus.  When the time came, the only way I would survive without a full-blown anxiety attack was to grab my husband’s arm, close my eyes and walk just slightly behind him.  He would forge a way through the crowd and if I happened to peek the only thing I saw was his broad back.  Before I knew it, I was outside breathing in the fresh air….free.

This wasn’t my only option. 

I could have walked into the hallway and yelled, “ Move aside and let me pass.”  Naturally, they would question, “Who are you?” and would be correct in doing so as I had no authority in that situation.

I could have waited an hour or so for the crowd to naturally dissipate.  But, how much of my life do I want to give up to fear?

I could have jumped into the crowd without a plan.  I would have quickly become overwhelmed as I was crushed on every side lacking the strength to push my way out.  

Thank goodness I had the thought to trust someone bigger than myself. One who not only formulated a plan as he could clearly see the exit door, but also had the strength to forge a path for me. One who grabbed my hand, as I threaded it through his arm, and never let go until I was free. 

I have heard from many who are going through a tough season.   Some wonder why their prayers for direction are met with silence.  First, May I encourage you that Jesus has authority over every obstacle you encounter. If you are met with silence you have a clear decision.  Trust or not trust.  At the concert I had to literally shut my eyes to change my focus. I did not need to understand how we were going to get out.  I simply needed to trust in the one who was holding my hand.  Ironically, when we feel so lost and out of control these are the times we are most richly blessed.  When a lesson is no longer something we simply read in a book, but actually experience it changes your paradigm forever.

Grab onto the Savior.   As you see your hand threading into His, know there is neither cause to hide in fear or jump without a plan for He has already forged a path you need only hold on. 

Yom Kippur - The Day of Atonement

Over the last week, various organizations have sent out a call to prayer for our nation, government and world situations.  The prayer time was to begin today, Yom Kippur, and end on Election Day, November 6^th.  This initiative included a list of prayer requests for each day so we could be unified in our voice.

This morning I was completely prepared to humble myself, cry out for forgiveness and mercy and seek blessing. I sat down with my journal, dated the top of the page and began with The Lord’s Prayer.  Not typical, but inspired so I went with it.  As I continued on with the “list” of prayer requests I felt less and less passion to continue.  I realized I was supposed to spend more time listening than talking and here is what I heard.

“Oh, what is man without a Savior?  Can he exist for any good purpose when flesh rules and reigns?  You have tried everything without Me, but it was never intended to be that way.  I have compassion for the lost and weary.  The world is a cruel master.  Not my creation but how it has been exploited…for gains, not sustenance…for profit, not pleasure…for greed, not good. 

Return to Me oh people of mine.  I have redeemed you long ago.  A Savior, my own Son, brought forth in great pain of my heart, but also with great love for you.  See the sacrifice as an open door to enter my Kingdom… to come to Me freely.  I hated the veil.  The separation.  Now the way is open and so few choose to come near.  This is the message of today.  Come Near to Me My people.  I want to be your God.  To hold you up, to walk out this life into the next.  Our relationship will be eternal.”

When I was a little girl and went to my father to confess my wrongs I was usually sent to my room.  Separated from my family with a grounding.  Today when this little girl came before her Heavenly Father, she heard “Come Near to Me…”  This is the heart of our Father.  He has come to restore and redeem.  Oh, that we would let Him!  

Help, is where I am

When I was younger I watched Gilligan’s Island almost every day after school. The show so preoccupied my thoughts I even dreamed one night I was on the island with the whole crew. I was very sad when I woke up because I really wanted to stay there and oh how I tried to get back. For several weeks I went to bed with a picture of the island in my head and said, “I want to go to Gilligan’s Island” over and over until I fell asleep. I’m sorry to say I never visited again.

Are you hoping and praying for things that are not coming to pass?

This morning in my prayer time I heard the following:

“Help, is where I am. Turn not from the desires put in your heart. Hold on to righteousness for righteousness is Christ! You can impact many more than you realize if you will just start. Just start and I will be there. Help, is where I am…loving you.”

Having never heard the phrase, “Help, is where I am” I decided to do a little research on the word help and here is what I found out.

The Greek word Bonoela (boetheia bo-ay-thi-ah) is from the word aid; specifically a rope or chain for frapping a vessel; - help. Boetheia denotes (1) “an answer to a cry for help”: “Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help (boetheia) in time of need”, Heb 4:16 literally, “(grace) unto (timely) help”; and (2) in Acts 27:17, where the plural is used, the term is nautical, “frapping”: “Which when they had taken up, they used helps (boetheia), undergirding the ship and, fearing lest they should fall into the quicksands, strake sail, and so were driven.” Frapping means to use ropes or chains to wrap around a ship to prevent its demise. (Strong’s Expanded Concordance)

I believe God has put things on your heart just like He has mine. They were not put there to dream about, or petition nightly in hopes they would come true, but to actually “do” them as they were meant to impact others for good.

It’s time to tackle the dream, start the “good works” we were created to accomplish, and honestly look at the personal shortcomings, which hold us back.

You will never get off the same old path if you don’t stop and walk a new direction.

You will never be more loving unless you love without expectation.

You will never encourage others if you are afraid to speak.

You will never be more giving until you start giving things away.

You will never be humble if you don’t repent.

You will never keep your integrity if you don’t maintain it.

You will never truly know God’s heart unless you read His word.

You will never know peace until you stop trying to “make it happen”.

You will never do the greater things until you complete the lesser things.

You will never forget to thank God if you continually talk to Him.

You will never learn from others if you believe they have nothing to teach you.

You will never witness the lame walk or the blind see unless you “go for it”.

You will never share your story of salvation if you are afraid of rejection.

You will never be a light on a hill if you are unwilling to take the hill.

However…if you step out in Faith

You will never need to worry about becoming shipwrecked like Gilligan…

In answer to your cry for help, God will wrap His arms around you to prevent your demise. For He says “Help, is where I Am”.

Spring

Ten years ago when we bought our home, there was a climbing rose bush on the front fence. My husband and I decided we would leave it up for privacy. Over the years I would prune it a bit. Honestly, only enough to prevent my husband from getting marred when he cut the grass. As time went on the blooms began to fade from pink to white, small mulberry trees had grown up in the middle and the old dead branches were so interwoven with the new growth it became impossible to discern where to prune. The bush was now more than 10 feet tall by 15 feet wide and was so heavy it was breaking the fence and pulling it off its foundation. This was no longer a simple pruning job. It was time to take this monster down.

I went out one unusually mild January afternoon with the plan of cutting it little by little each week so that by spring it would be gone. I was not outside more than 15 minutes when a white truck pulled up. Out stepped a man who asked, “Do you need any yard work done?” I laughed out loud. “What would you charge me to take out this rose bush?” He gave me a price of $30 plus the brush dump fee. Amazingly, that was all I had at the time. Within an hour the bush was gone, the pieces were swept up and the fence repaired. There is no longer any evidence of the monstrosity that once dominated my front yard.

Now before you all ask for the number of my incredibly reasonable new yardman may we consider a few things? I had a monster that I put off dealing with for many years. My first excuse was it provides privacy. How many times in our own lives do we ignore things because it gives us a place to hide? How many times do we fail to address issues until they actually begin to break our ability to stand and pull us off of our foundation? In my rose bush I actually had new growth coming from dead shoots. What a deception. I honestly don’t understand that, but in reality what kind of flower, if any at all, could come from this foundation?

Within a few minutes of my decision to tackle this bush (issue) a white truck showed up. He had actually been driving up and down the neighborhood looking for people who needed help. Who does that sound like? And the price was really nothing. It was more of a gift. A gift like the one we received from Christ. We were a snarling mess of thorns and fading blooms, the appearance of life interwoven in death. As we made a decision and took one step toward Him, He cut the whole thing down to the foundations. Not to destroy us, but to build us up again. He gave everything He had in exchange for everything we had. In the end there is no evidence of what once was. There is however the expectation of new growth in the spring.

Mark 1:15

Lost and Found

During my quiet time last week I heard the following word.

“You have been found.”

“Everyone is telling my people they are lost. (lost hope, lost future, lost dreams)

Tell them they have been found!”

“You have been found righteous through Christ.

You have been found a friend.

You have been found loved by a Father.

You have been found with a future.

You have been found with a hope.

You have been found realizing your dreams.

Set your eyes on Me! I have my eyes on you.”

Dear Sister,

Dear Sister,

It has been a while since I have written and I have so much to tell you.

Mrs. Periwinkle down the street passed away. She was the one who wore all those silly hats. In spite of our many compliments, I remember the days we would spend laughing away with our girlfriends talking about those hats. The one with the bird’s nest and the one with the pinecones and squirrel tail…don’t get me started. Well, you won’t believe what happened. At her funeral all of those hats were lined up on a table and beside each one was a card with the name of the girl whom she bequeathed it to. I don’t know how she knew, but by the end of the ceremony each one of us departed wearing the ridiculous hat we most disliked. I guess she got the last laugh.

I volunteered to bake pies for the fundraiser at church. Ok, so I’ve never made a pie in my life, but Bradley Hunt was standing right next to me when I was asked so what could I do? I’ve liked him forever and I thought maybe if he saw how charitable I was and believed I was a good cook it could improve my chances. He did smile when I volunteered. However, he looked quite shocked when I delivered said pies to his mother’s home, until….. I explained that my six-year old adopted cousin, from the orphanage, helped bake the pies and then his smile returned. Well, to be fair it did look like a six-year old made the pies. I just hope he never finds out I don’t actually have a cousin.

I had lunch with Belinda, Marcie and Rachel last week. Belinda is so rude. Oh, if she wasn’t so popular I swear I just wouldn’t bother. Anyway, she asked to borrow my green dress for the Swanson’s dinner party and had the gall to add, “Even though I may have to take it in a little.” Well, I fixed her good. I took the dress in two inches on each side and then delivered it with a smile. When I showed up to the Swanson’s dinner party I asked her why she didn’t wear the dress. In all her regal ness she replied, “It didn’t hang right on me.” then turned around and left.

Well, I’m off to write my novel. Oh, I didn’t tell you Bradley also thinks I’m a published author and we are discussing my new book this weekend on our first date….wish me luck!

Sincerely,

Your Sister

Wow, that was fun to write. I do have a point by the way actually one for each situation in the letter. First, deep down people know when you are being genuine. The only person you are fooling is yourself. Second, give out of your gifts and talents. People will appreciate you for being you. Finally, be gracious in every situation. It will be your face you see in the mirror the next morning.

Grand Opening

The grand opening sign was quite small and unassuming, but what was happening inside was the biggest thing to hit our town yet. We had been waiting months for the store to open and some had been waiting years for something like this to actually happen.

As I waited in line, I couldn’t help but take in the spectacle around me. The brick building was small at a mere five-feet by seven-feet with drive up windows on each side. I had inched my way up and was only a few feet from the “menu”. I knew I must weigh my options carefully realizing my first time here I couldn’t order “one of each” even though I really wanted to. The line was moving at a good pace in spite of the many cars wrapped around the block. I couldn’t help but notice everyone drove away with a smile.

Finally, I am next in line.

Main Menu:

Deeper Knowledge of God

Healthy Lifestyle

Hear God Speak

Children That Mind

Respect at Work

Sides:

Peace

Joy

Organized Schedule

Happiness

Good Night Sleep

Just as I had finished perusing the menu an angelic voice came over the intercom. “Welcome to Blessings R Us….How may I bless you today?” “Yes, thank you, I will take a Deeper Knowledge of God with a side of Good Night Sleep.” The intercom clicked on again, “Please pull forward.” I was thinking how easy that was when I suddenly realized she didn’t say how much it would cost. I pulled up to the window. As it opened a slender hand reached out. “I don’t know what you want….you didn’t tell me the cost?” I said. A woman leaned slightly out the window and quietly replied, “Surrender.” “Surrender? Surrender what?” I wondered out loud. She gave me a faint smile and simply said, “Your way.”

Those two little words slammed hard into my chest though she said them without judgment or even the slightest hint of animosity. “ All I have to do is surrender and I will get A Deeper Knowledge of God and A Good Night Sleep?” “In a manner of speaking.” Finally, we were getting to the bottom of it. “What’s the catch?”, I asked. “No catch, you surrender your way and His way will naturally come through.” I had surrendered one night many years ago. But as I sat there areas came to mind…ones that I had taken back over time and some in truth I never fully gave up. Now that I thought about it, these were the very areas in which I struggle. As the light of understanding came into my eyes she nodded and handed me a card. “For your next visit.” I looked at the card:

Please Come Back Soon

“What no coupon?” I snarked. “No, next time it will cost you the same, but we are so sure you are going to be satisfied with this visit you will be back until you’ve received everything on our menu.” As I drove off I glanced into the rear view mirror to catch a glimpse of the next unsuspecting person and I couldn’t help but notice my own smile in the mirror.

The Big Board

The small attic bedroom shared by two sisters was full of schoolbooks, clothes, ice skates and dreams. It was a simple time with simple expectations. Eventually, each found a love to build a life and got married and started a family. There were bumps in the road as expected, but nothing that couldn’t be overcome…until it that day. The day when one sister’s existence changed from simply living to fighting for her husband’s life.

Six months, a blur of doctor visits, treatments, medicine and pain. Then as suddenly as it began it ended. Hodgkin’s had claimed a beloved father in his early 30’s. Yes, his pain had ended, but my Aunt’s was just beginning. So devastated from the loss of her husband she crawled into her own little world. Getting up in the morning was a battle often lost. In her despair she asked her sister to take her three little ones and raise them as her own.

I was a young girl when this happened, but I distinctly remember the many conversations about my Aunt. Things progressed to a point where My Grandparents sold their home and moved in with her for several years until she was able to heal. As a child I could not understand her inability to function in her sadness. But it caused me to write a “rule on my big board”...Don’t ever let this happen to you!

For many years I refused to give anyone my whole heart. In an effort to protect myself, I had reserved a piece that would allow me to survive if I lost someone I truly loved. John 10:10 says, “The thief comes only to steal, and kill, and destroy; I came that they might have life, and might have it abundantly.” Strong’s defines abundantly as “beyond measure”. The word might, implies choice. I was choosing to measure my risk in every situation and allowing the enemy to rob me of this promise.

Have you lost a loved one?

Did someone you trust mistreat you?

Did a friend betray you?

Did a child take you for granted?

Were you unjustly ridiculed?

All of these can cause us to play it safe and live under our potential. To not only miss the “abundant” blessings but keep us off the playing field. What’s on your list of rules? These are still simple times with simple expectations. Erase the big board and choose an abundant life!

Baby Girl

The moment Emma, “Baby Girl”, opened her eyes she was swooped up into the loving arms of Aibileen. The kindly woman held tight to her precious bundle as she sat down in a rocking chair. Her warm hug affirmed, “I Love You!” She set Baby Girl up so they were eye to eye, and as she held her little face in her hands she said, “You is smart, you is kind, you is important.”

This is my favorite scene from the movie The Help. Baby Girl was born into a world of privilege yet she seemed to have no favor at all. Her crime, she was not beautiful by her mother’s estimation and therefore shown no love.

How harsh the world’s standards of beauty, prosperity, education and accomplishments can be. While Baby Girl’s mother was more focused on how shiny the silver was or how she looked in her new dress, Aibileen was focused on instilling identity. She knew that Baby Girl would need that grounding in order to walk out her position in life with grace.

Don’t we all want that? I know I want to be gracious in the face of impossible and often crushing expectations. The only way to do that is to let God instill our identity. While praying about this post, I felt very strongly that He wanted a moment with each and every one of you. Please take this time to come before Him…He has something to tell you.

Picture yourself standing before the throne. Your Father is smiling and so happy you have come. Now, crawl on up and sit on His lap. Look Him right in the eyes and feel His hands take hold of your precious face as He says....

“You are mine.”

“I have chosen you.”

“No one can snatch you from my hand.”

Baby Girl, this is who you are. Never forget that your name is engraved into the hands of the One who holds you up. No matter what we must temporarily endure it does not compare to what is ours eternally.

"You Either Trust Me or You Do Not."

On a cold winter night as the world slumbered under a new blanket of snow, one man remained awake. The innocent, the sweet, and the unsuspecting could not even imagine the menacing force that prowled outside. He scoured the neighborhood seeking whom he may devour indiscriminate in his quest. And then he found it, an unlocked door. Within minutes one child’s life was ended, another permanently scared and a third ripped from her home. After her innocence was harshly stolen, she was discarded as cruelly as the acts perpetrated upon her.

My friend was a beautiful girl of seventeen who could light up a room with her smile. I learned of her violent end on the nightly news. In my eighteen years nothing had so profoundly affected me as this random event. I cannot begin to imagine all that has followed for this sweet family, but I can attest to the impact it has had on me. To this day, I walk around the house and check all the doors before going to bed. Though I clung to Psalm 4:8 “In peace I will both lie down and sleep. For Thou alone, O Lord, dost make me to dwell in safety.” it would be many years before I was able to give the fear over and trust in these words.

Last night as I was preparing for bed I noticed an open window in the bathroom my husband is remodeling. It is very old and so badly warped I could not with all my strength muscle it shut. I was growing anxious as I thought; a man could definitely fit through that opening, my daughters bedroom is right next door, can I wake my husband up in time if someone were to come through it…..on and on it went. Then I caught my self. I needed to talk to the only one who had the power to affect the situation. As I prayed and asked God to watch over my house and keep us safe I heard “You either trust Me or you do not.”

Old wounds have a way of resurfacing from time to time. I believe it is inevitable, but what we do with the situation determines much.

I could have believed that since my fear had returned God never really healed me. I could have let fear keep me awake and give the enemy victory over the night. I could have tried to solve the problem myself and hammer the window into place or board it up. I could have dismissed the prompting to pray.

Because I chose to pray, I was not only blessed with a night’s sleep, but also reassured that when God heals it is done, finished, and complete. I was able to look an old wound right in the face and say…you have no power over me.

One last thought. I mentioned that to this day I check the doors before I go to bed. I do this because it is the prudent thing to do. If you were an alcoholic you would not go to a bar every night saying, “God has removed this temptation from me.” Likewise, no sane person would stand in the middle of a six-lane highway and say, “God will not allow me to get hit by a car.” Being wise in your decisions does not mean you lack faith. However, when you have done your part, "You either trust Him or you do not."

Ask!

About two years ago God started talking to me about starting a bible study with three of my neighbors. None of these ladies showed even the slightest interest in faith in our conversations, but He was extending the invitation just the same. I had no problem approaching the first two. The third lady, who I will refer to as Linda, was a bit intimidating. We had only one thing in common, we both loved to garden, but our differences were vast. I had been married over twenty-five years. She was on her fourth relationship with children from three different husbands. I was a suburban soccer mom and she was a country girl who could plow the back forty and still party with the boys all night long. Just saying, I was not the kind of person she would normally hang out with. In fact, I heard from a mutual friend she called me a “Bible Thumper” behind my back. Needless to say, I was not very confident the outcome would be positive.

After some time, I finally got up the courage to invite her to the study and she accepted. In the first few weeks she attended we were actually becoming friends. She was participating and I think she really liked it. Unfortunately, in the middle of the fourth week her boyfriend called and really laid into her. Apparently, she was responsible for making dinner every night when she came home from work. (Despite the fact that he was unemployed and she was working two jobs to make ends meet.) Dinner was late and he was angry. She ended the call, quietly made her excuses and left, never to come back again. Over the next several weeks I tried to keep the door open by inviting her back to the study, asking her to join me on a walk and even to come over for coffee. The last time I stopped by her house her boyfriend was very rude, he clearly did not want her to have anything to do with faith and as she shut the door I could hear him harassing her. With every invitation Linda chose the security of a relationship with her boyfriend. After much rejection I gave up pursuing her.

A few months later, I woke up at 2 o’clock in the morning. I stood straight up next to my bed and as I looked around the room trying to comprehend what was going on, I could not for the life of me understand why I was awake. I am sorry to say I did not even ask as I crawled back into my bed and closed my eyes. The next morning I heard from a friend that Linda had tried to commit suicide around 2am.

Linda’s boyfriend left her. She had finally hit bottom, lost all hope and in her time of desperation I was sleeping away in my warm bed. I count this as one of the biggest failures in my spiritual life. It took me quite some time to reconcile this situation. You don’t know how many times I wished I had asked “Lord, why did you wake me up?” How many times it ran through my mind, could I have gotten up, walked down the street and helped her? Yes, she had to do her part and choose to walk towards her Father. However, I often questioned if my walking away telegraphed it was a limited time opportunity?

This begs the question, when is it time to walk away? I have come to realize my failure was in not asking this very question. I know some would never even consider it. After all how can we think of walking away when God never gave up on us?

So what did I learn? First, I will never again hesitate to approach someone based on his or her outward actions. Our hearts had much in common and if given the time Linda would have seen God’s desire to heal what He so graciously healed in me. Secondly, God clearly invited me to be a part of what He was doing in Linda’s life for a season. The timing should have been left completely in His hands. Lastly, if you clearly hear you are to walk away from someone do not carry guilt. God will not harm you to help another. He may use you for a season, but if it becomes an emotional detriment or complete sidetrack from our purpose it is time to ask for direction. Doing “good” to this extreme is the enemy’s plan not His. God will not give up on those He loves. His next step just may not include you. Ask!

We Just Don't See Eye to Eye

During elementary school our children are given the opportunity to earn a trip to the Chicago museums by getting on the honor roll. My youngest daughter Jessica accomplished this the final quarter of last year.

Since Jessica is the last of my five children I have already taken this trip four times. I can literally run up and down the halls of the museums in my head. There is so much to see, but certainly I have my favorites like the Mummies, Dinosaurs, Trains and the cobblestone walk of Yesteryear. As we traveled to Chicago last week, I was excited to see them again and watch Jessica explore. The first thing we did as we arrived at each museum was look at the map and circle the “must see” exhibits. To my dismay Jessica’s “must see” list was very different from the one in my head. She is what my husband and I refer to as a “Math/Science” brain and I am a “Creative/Art” brain. We experience and learn very differently and frankly what inspires me is boring to her and vice versa. Obviously, I knew this about her, but I hoped seeing these things in real life would intrigue her. Not a chance. She stopped to see every bug under every microscope, read every fact on every computer and operate every machine on display. We even spent 30 minutes watching a baby chick peck its way out of an egg and stumble into the world. She had a blast!

Jessica earned this trip and we wanted her to have fun, but my purposes for letting her “do it her way” go back a few years. When Jessica was younger, I was having a day where my patience was a little short and her inquisitiveness got the better of me. We must have been on question number 2,000 for the day and I needed a break. I asked Jessica to give me some quiet time, but she was tenacious in her quest for answers. Finally, I just prayed “God please make Jessica a little more amendable.” The response was immediate and as close to a shout as I have ever heard from God. “Do not squash her, I have made her this way for my purposes.” This had such an impact on me I will never forget it. I realize this doesn’t mean I should let her run wild and forgo discipline, but I keep in mind my job is to guide her and challenge her to grow in her gifting not change her. God has unique plans for my daughter and I have no doubt a little tenacity will come in handy or He wouldn’t have created her that way.

Are you frustrated with some people in your life because they don’t see things the way you do? Our inclination would be to say, “We just don’t see eye to eye” and steer away from them. Perhaps God knew that we would stay in our comfort zone, see and experience the world merely from our perspective if we weren’t challenged to do otherwise. With all the choices at the museum I never would have taken the time to watch a baby chick hatch, but what a beautiful memory I have sharing this with my daughter.

A Vision: Clash of the Kingdoms

Last night I was playing cards in the kitchen with my daughter Jessica. My husband was watching a show about storms in the other room. I could not see the TV, but I could hear what was being said and I must confess it put my imagination into over load. Rolling through my mind was image after image of devastation, lives lost, homes decimated and people overwhelmed with every kind of emotion as record numbers of tornados ripped through the United States. I found myself asking “God, why is all this happening?” The show ended with one man speaking…a pastor. He said, “When these things happen we are no longer black, white or of any race. We come together as one….and I couldn’t be prouder of America. None of these “things” matter, it’s about people. We will get through this, together.”

Later that evening I fell asleep in front of the TV and woke up around 1am to Glenn Beck. He was talking about all the uprisings that have taken place in the Middle East. The media sold this as a young generation seeking freedom from the oppression of their leaders, increased education and a better life for their families. For many I believe this is true however, Glenn showed another layer, which was not reported by the media, the socialist agenda and its three primary leaders who were in the midst of these revolts. One of these leaders was teaching at a Socialist conference and he said all nations in the middle east would come together with Hamas and the Muslim Brotherhood to destroy their common enemy Israel, the Jewish Nation and United States capitalism.

Then God gave me the following vision.

I saw a young generation of people ranging in age from teens to late 20’s amassing in a square somewhere in the Middle East. I was drawn up higher and the scene zoomed back to reveal the entire landmass of the middle-eastern region. It zoomed back farther still and widened to include the United States. At this point I understood there to be an equal number of this age group amassing in the United States as well. A new layer was added to the image. I could no longer see the landmasses, but what appeared to be wind swirling above each separate area somewhat like the weather satellite picture above. The wind over the Middle East swirled toward the left in a counter clockwise direction. It was fueled by evil emotion that was so heavy it was palpable. The wind over the United States swirled to the right in a clockwise direction its energy was clearly good. The winds on each side were swirling faster and faster as they grew larger and gained intensity. The winds swelled past their original boarders and each side was growing toward the middle. I knew they were going to clash. I was getting anxious because I thought this is not good there is no way to stop it. I knew that there were real people under these forces and I was concerned for the kids. The evil forces over the Middle East were relishing in anticipation. I could hear their thoughts “We have done it, we are mighty, we will finally crush them.” As I looked back at the force over the US I felt nothing but passion and overwhelming love. As the two winds began to clash over the waters I looked to God for understanding…to my astonishment, He was smiling and I immediately felt peace. He said, “What the enemy has planned for evil I will use for good.” The enemy heard this and went into a panic, he tried to pull the force back and stop the clash, but the thrust forward had such momentum it could not be stopped. He was furious. So much hate went into building an army he was sure it was indefensible, but as soon as it clashed with the goodness of God all the hate melted away.

Some thoughts…I am by no means trying to trivialize the devastation of the recent tornados or even suggest that God caused these disasters. Please don’t go there. I am merely highlighting the heart of our nation shining through these horrific situations. Likewise, I am not suggesting the people of the Middle East are in general “bad” people. Just bringing to light a heart I did not know existed within these recent events.

Having said that, there are so many levels to this vision I believe if you pray about it God will reveal truth about what’s happening not only in the world today, but our nation and even our own backyards. I will leave that to God to expand upon and give you understanding if you seek it.

My take away...the clash of kingdoms is inevitable. On some level it’s happening every day. Are we able to stand up under it? How about the young ones in my vision? I feel very strongly that we need to be sowing into the younger generation. Day after day I encounter young people who are Fatherless and Motherless. They are being blown about by the wind because they have been left to raise them selves and afforded very little understanding or foundation of who God is. It’s heartbreaking. Make no mistake God is passionate about this abandoned generation. We need to grab the hands of those who have been decimated by the storms of life, who are reeling from every emotion imaginable and say, "We will get through this, together".

Hearing God Through An Intersecting Thought

Last weekend my husband and I caught a 5 o’clock movie. Since we did not have time to eat beforehand, we went to IHop afterwards for a late dinner. The restaurant was pretty quiet and most of the tables were empty because the “late night” crowd had not yet arrived. A young man at a table on the other side of the restaurant caught my attention. I thought, “He looks familiar…is that Bob?” I could not see very clearly across the restaurant so I grabbed my glasses (no old lady cracks J). When I put them on I noticed that although he looked somewhat similar it was not my friend. However, throughout dinner my attention kept coming back to this young man. I noticed that he was sitting by himself and had all the mannerisms of someone who frequently ate alone. Then I heard in my head, “Why do you think I said the name Bob?” Ok, this got my attention. Experience told me this was God’s voice so I asked, “What are you trying to say Lord?” He just repeated, “Bob” and then I got it. He was trying to tell me that this young man was very similar to my friend in his background, his intellect and most of all the depth of his loneliness. I got up and went to the hostess station and asked for a pen and a piece of paper. I came back to the table and began to write the name of my church, the location, the time we met the next morning and the website address. I then got up and went over to him. Needless to say, he was very surprised when I sat down. I slid the paper across the table and said “This is for you…if you choose to come I will introduce you to twenty kids your age and you will like them…if not then that’s ok too.” He looked over all the information and very skeptically said “ok”.

I believe there are many times when God is trying to get our attention and we brush it off as coincidence or just our imagination. This story is a perfect example of how God talks in intersecting thoughts. Let me explain. I was minding my own business, having dinner with my husband when God highlighted someone in the room. This was my first clue. He then gave me a name. The name of someone I knew to a depth of what his personal struggles were. This was used to give me insight into the person highlighted. Simple. So what do we do with this information? Please know that God is not giving you information for your entertainment or so that you “know” something about someone. He is giving you insights because He wants you to “do” something. That’s where the questions come in; “What about Bob?” “Why are you bringing him to mind?” “Lord, what would you have me do?” Notice in my story I did not go over and tell the young man everything that was revealed about him. That would have been insensitive, not to mention awkward and it was not what I was asked to do. I was simply asked to extend an invitation no more and no less.

To be completely honest, for a split second it crossed my mind I could be rejected in this task. The young man could have said “You are a crazy woman… go away.” Honestly, that has never happened and if it did I would have thought God is just softening his heart. It often takes people several invitations before they actually say yes. It’s not about the results. We are not going to know the impact of half of the things we were asked to do until we get home and see the highlight reel. In the meantime, what a blessing to be a part of what God is doing here and now.

Some things to ponder: Before approaching people check your heart. Love and humility will open doors for people to receive. God will ask you to; uplift, encourage, invite, bring into the fold, love, show compassion or be a friend. He will not ask you to judge, admonish, correct, convict of sin or rub in past hurts. If you are hearing something negative make sure you are sensitive to the information given. I find that when I am given these kinds of insights it is a call for me to pray and intercede in my personal quiet time on their behalf.