Dear Sister,

Dear Sister,

It has been a while since I have written and I have so much to tell you.

Mrs. Periwinkle down the street passed away. She was the one who wore all those silly hats. In spite of our many compliments, I remember the days we would spend laughing away with our girlfriends talking about those hats. The one with the bird’s nest and the one with the pinecones and squirrel tail…don’t get me started. Well, you won’t believe what happened. At her funeral all of those hats were lined up on a table and beside each one was a card with the name of the girl whom she bequeathed it to. I don’t know how she knew, but by the end of the ceremony each one of us departed wearing the ridiculous hat we most disliked. I guess she got the last laugh.

I volunteered to bake pies for the fundraiser at church. Ok, so I’ve never made a pie in my life, but Bradley Hunt was standing right next to me when I was asked so what could I do? I’ve liked him forever and I thought maybe if he saw how charitable I was and believed I was a good cook it could improve my chances. He did smile when I volunteered. However, he looked quite shocked when I delivered said pies to his mother’s home, until….. I explained that my six-year old adopted cousin, from the orphanage, helped bake the pies and then his smile returned. Well, to be fair it did look like a six-year old made the pies. I just hope he never finds out I don’t actually have a cousin.

I had lunch with Belinda, Marcie and Rachel last week. Belinda is so rude. Oh, if she wasn’t so popular I swear I just wouldn’t bother. Anyway, she asked to borrow my green dress for the Swanson’s dinner party and had the gall to add, “Even though I may have to take it in a little.” Well, I fixed her good. I took the dress in two inches on each side and then delivered it with a smile. When I showed up to the Swanson’s dinner party I asked her why she didn’t wear the dress. In all her regal ness she replied, “It didn’t hang right on me.” then turned around and left.

Well, I’m off to write my novel. Oh, I didn’t tell you Bradley also thinks I’m a published author and we are discussing my new book this weekend on our first date….wish me luck!

Sincerely,

Your Sister

Wow, that was fun to write. I do have a point by the way actually one for each situation in the letter. First, deep down people know when you are being genuine. The only person you are fooling is yourself. Second, give out of your gifts and talents. People will appreciate you for being you. Finally, be gracious in every situation. It will be your face you see in the mirror the next morning.

Grand Opening

The grand opening sign was quite small and unassuming, but what was happening inside was the biggest thing to hit our town yet. We had been waiting months for the store to open and some had been waiting years for something like this to actually happen.

As I waited in line, I couldn’t help but take in the spectacle around me. The brick building was small at a mere five-feet by seven-feet with drive up windows on each side. I had inched my way up and was only a few feet from the “menu”. I knew I must weigh my options carefully realizing my first time here I couldn’t order “one of each” even though I really wanted to. The line was moving at a good pace in spite of the many cars wrapped around the block. I couldn’t help but notice everyone drove away with a smile.

Finally, I am next in line.

Main Menu:

Deeper Knowledge of God

Healthy Lifestyle

Hear God Speak

Children That Mind

Respect at Work

Sides:

Peace

Joy

Organized Schedule

Happiness

Good Night Sleep

Just as I had finished perusing the menu an angelic voice came over the intercom. “Welcome to Blessings R Us….How may I bless you today?” “Yes, thank you, I will take a Deeper Knowledge of God with a side of Good Night Sleep.” The intercom clicked on again, “Please pull forward.” I was thinking how easy that was when I suddenly realized she didn’t say how much it would cost. I pulled up to the window. As it opened a slender hand reached out. “I don’t know what you want….you didn’t tell me the cost?” I said. A woman leaned slightly out the window and quietly replied, “Surrender.” “Surrender? Surrender what?” I wondered out loud. She gave me a faint smile and simply said, “Your way.”

Those two little words slammed hard into my chest though she said them without judgment or even the slightest hint of animosity. “ All I have to do is surrender and I will get A Deeper Knowledge of God and A Good Night Sleep?” “In a manner of speaking.” Finally, we were getting to the bottom of it. “What’s the catch?”, I asked. “No catch, you surrender your way and His way will naturally come through.” I had surrendered one night many years ago. But as I sat there areas came to mind…ones that I had taken back over time and some in truth I never fully gave up. Now that I thought about it, these were the very areas in which I struggle. As the light of understanding came into my eyes she nodded and handed me a card. “For your next visit.” I looked at the card:

Please Come Back Soon

“What no coupon?” I snarked. “No, next time it will cost you the same, but we are so sure you are going to be satisfied with this visit you will be back until you’ve received everything on our menu.” As I drove off I glanced into the rear view mirror to catch a glimpse of the next unsuspecting person and I couldn’t help but notice my own smile in the mirror.

The Big Board

The small attic bedroom shared by two sisters was full of schoolbooks, clothes, ice skates and dreams. It was a simple time with simple expectations. Eventually, each found a love to build a life and got married and started a family. There were bumps in the road as expected, but nothing that couldn’t be overcome…until it that day. The day when one sister’s existence changed from simply living to fighting for her husband’s life.

Six months, a blur of doctor visits, treatments, medicine and pain. Then as suddenly as it began it ended. Hodgkin’s had claimed a beloved father in his early 30’s. Yes, his pain had ended, but my Aunt’s was just beginning. So devastated from the loss of her husband she crawled into her own little world. Getting up in the morning was a battle often lost. In her despair she asked her sister to take her three little ones and raise them as her own.

I was a young girl when this happened, but I distinctly remember the many conversations about my Aunt. Things progressed to a point where My Grandparents sold their home and moved in with her for several years until she was able to heal. As a child I could not understand her inability to function in her sadness. But it caused me to write a “rule on my big board”...Don’t ever let this happen to you!

For many years I refused to give anyone my whole heart. In an effort to protect myself, I had reserved a piece that would allow me to survive if I lost someone I truly loved. John 10:10 says, “The thief comes only to steal, and kill, and destroy; I came that they might have life, and might have it abundantly.” Strong’s defines abundantly as “beyond measure”. The word might, implies choice. I was choosing to measure my risk in every situation and allowing the enemy to rob me of this promise.

Have you lost a loved one?

Did someone you trust mistreat you?

Did a friend betray you?

Did a child take you for granted?

Were you unjustly ridiculed?

All of these can cause us to play it safe and live under our potential. To not only miss the “abundant” blessings but keep us off the playing field. What’s on your list of rules? These are still simple times with simple expectations. Erase the big board and choose an abundant life!

Baby Girl

The moment Emma, “Baby Girl”, opened her eyes she was swooped up into the loving arms of Aibileen. The kindly woman held tight to her precious bundle as she sat down in a rocking chair. Her warm hug affirmed, “I Love You!” She set Baby Girl up so they were eye to eye, and as she held her little face in her hands she said, “You is smart, you is kind, you is important.”

This is my favorite scene from the movie The Help. Baby Girl was born into a world of privilege yet she seemed to have no favor at all. Her crime, she was not beautiful by her mother’s estimation and therefore shown no love.

How harsh the world’s standards of beauty, prosperity, education and accomplishments can be. While Baby Girl’s mother was more focused on how shiny the silver was or how she looked in her new dress, Aibileen was focused on instilling identity. She knew that Baby Girl would need that grounding in order to walk out her position in life with grace.

Don’t we all want that? I know I want to be gracious in the face of impossible and often crushing expectations. The only way to do that is to let God instill our identity. While praying about this post, I felt very strongly that He wanted a moment with each and every one of you. Please take this time to come before Him…He has something to tell you.

Picture yourself standing before the throne. Your Father is smiling and so happy you have come. Now, crawl on up and sit on His lap. Look Him right in the eyes and feel His hands take hold of your precious face as He says....

“You are mine.”

“I have chosen you.”

“No one can snatch you from my hand.”

Baby Girl, this is who you are. Never forget that your name is engraved into the hands of the One who holds you up. No matter what we must temporarily endure it does not compare to what is ours eternally.

"You Either Trust Me or You Do Not."

On a cold winter night as the world slumbered under a new blanket of snow, one man remained awake. The innocent, the sweet, and the unsuspecting could not even imagine the menacing force that prowled outside. He scoured the neighborhood seeking whom he may devour indiscriminate in his quest. And then he found it, an unlocked door. Within minutes one child’s life was ended, another permanently scared and a third ripped from her home. After her innocence was harshly stolen, she was discarded as cruelly as the acts perpetrated upon her.

My friend was a beautiful girl of seventeen who could light up a room with her smile. I learned of her violent end on the nightly news. In my eighteen years nothing had so profoundly affected me as this random event. I cannot begin to imagine all that has followed for this sweet family, but I can attest to the impact it has had on me. To this day, I walk around the house and check all the doors before going to bed. Though I clung to Psalm 4:8 “In peace I will both lie down and sleep. For Thou alone, O Lord, dost make me to dwell in safety.” it would be many years before I was able to give the fear over and trust in these words.

Last night as I was preparing for bed I noticed an open window in the bathroom my husband is remodeling. It is very old and so badly warped I could not with all my strength muscle it shut. I was growing anxious as I thought; a man could definitely fit through that opening, my daughters bedroom is right next door, can I wake my husband up in time if someone were to come through it…..on and on it went. Then I caught my self. I needed to talk to the only one who had the power to affect the situation. As I prayed and asked God to watch over my house and keep us safe I heard “You either trust Me or you do not.”

Old wounds have a way of resurfacing from time to time. I believe it is inevitable, but what we do with the situation determines much.

I could have believed that since my fear had returned God never really healed me. I could have let fear keep me awake and give the enemy victory over the night. I could have tried to solve the problem myself and hammer the window into place or board it up. I could have dismissed the prompting to pray.

Because I chose to pray, I was not only blessed with a night’s sleep, but also reassured that when God heals it is done, finished, and complete. I was able to look an old wound right in the face and say…you have no power over me.

One last thought. I mentioned that to this day I check the doors before I go to bed. I do this because it is the prudent thing to do. If you were an alcoholic you would not go to a bar every night saying, “God has removed this temptation from me.” Likewise, no sane person would stand in the middle of a six-lane highway and say, “God will not allow me to get hit by a car.” Being wise in your decisions does not mean you lack faith. However, when you have done your part, "You either trust Him or you do not."

Ask!

About two years ago God started talking to me about starting a bible study with three of my neighbors. None of these ladies showed even the slightest interest in faith in our conversations, but He was extending the invitation just the same. I had no problem approaching the first two. The third lady, who I will refer to as Linda, was a bit intimidating. We had only one thing in common, we both loved to garden, but our differences were vast. I had been married over twenty-five years. She was on her fourth relationship with children from three different husbands. I was a suburban soccer mom and she was a country girl who could plow the back forty and still party with the boys all night long. Just saying, I was not the kind of person she would normally hang out with. In fact, I heard from a mutual friend she called me a “Bible Thumper” behind my back. Needless to say, I was not very confident the outcome would be positive.

After some time, I finally got up the courage to invite her to the study and she accepted. In the first few weeks she attended we were actually becoming friends. She was participating and I think she really liked it. Unfortunately, in the middle of the fourth week her boyfriend called and really laid into her. Apparently, she was responsible for making dinner every night when she came home from work. (Despite the fact that he was unemployed and she was working two jobs to make ends meet.) Dinner was late and he was angry. She ended the call, quietly made her excuses and left, never to come back again. Over the next several weeks I tried to keep the door open by inviting her back to the study, asking her to join me on a walk and even to come over for coffee. The last time I stopped by her house her boyfriend was very rude, he clearly did not want her to have anything to do with faith and as she shut the door I could hear him harassing her. With every invitation Linda chose the security of a relationship with her boyfriend. After much rejection I gave up pursuing her.

A few months later, I woke up at 2 o’clock in the morning. I stood straight up next to my bed and as I looked around the room trying to comprehend what was going on, I could not for the life of me understand why I was awake. I am sorry to say I did not even ask as I crawled back into my bed and closed my eyes. The next morning I heard from a friend that Linda had tried to commit suicide around 2am.

Linda’s boyfriend left her. She had finally hit bottom, lost all hope and in her time of desperation I was sleeping away in my warm bed. I count this as one of the biggest failures in my spiritual life. It took me quite some time to reconcile this situation. You don’t know how many times I wished I had asked “Lord, why did you wake me up?” How many times it ran through my mind, could I have gotten up, walked down the street and helped her? Yes, she had to do her part and choose to walk towards her Father. However, I often questioned if my walking away telegraphed it was a limited time opportunity?

This begs the question, when is it time to walk away? I have come to realize my failure was in not asking this very question. I know some would never even consider it. After all how can we think of walking away when God never gave up on us?

So what did I learn? First, I will never again hesitate to approach someone based on his or her outward actions. Our hearts had much in common and if given the time Linda would have seen God’s desire to heal what He so graciously healed in me. Secondly, God clearly invited me to be a part of what He was doing in Linda’s life for a season. The timing should have been left completely in His hands. Lastly, if you clearly hear you are to walk away from someone do not carry guilt. God will not harm you to help another. He may use you for a season, but if it becomes an emotional detriment or complete sidetrack from our purpose it is time to ask for direction. Doing “good” to this extreme is the enemy’s plan not His. God will not give up on those He loves. His next step just may not include you. Ask!

We Just Don't See Eye to Eye

During elementary school our children are given the opportunity to earn a trip to the Chicago museums by getting on the honor roll. My youngest daughter Jessica accomplished this the final quarter of last year.

Since Jessica is the last of my five children I have already taken this trip four times. I can literally run up and down the halls of the museums in my head. There is so much to see, but certainly I have my favorites like the Mummies, Dinosaurs, Trains and the cobblestone walk of Yesteryear. As we traveled to Chicago last week, I was excited to see them again and watch Jessica explore. The first thing we did as we arrived at each museum was look at the map and circle the “must see” exhibits. To my dismay Jessica’s “must see” list was very different from the one in my head. She is what my husband and I refer to as a “Math/Science” brain and I am a “Creative/Art” brain. We experience and learn very differently and frankly what inspires me is boring to her and vice versa. Obviously, I knew this about her, but I hoped seeing these things in real life would intrigue her. Not a chance. She stopped to see every bug under every microscope, read every fact on every computer and operate every machine on display. We even spent 30 minutes watching a baby chick peck its way out of an egg and stumble into the world. She had a blast!

Jessica earned this trip and we wanted her to have fun, but my purposes for letting her “do it her way” go back a few years. When Jessica was younger, I was having a day where my patience was a little short and her inquisitiveness got the better of me. We must have been on question number 2,000 for the day and I needed a break. I asked Jessica to give me some quiet time, but she was tenacious in her quest for answers. Finally, I just prayed “God please make Jessica a little more amendable.” The response was immediate and as close to a shout as I have ever heard from God. “Do not squash her, I have made her this way for my purposes.” This had such an impact on me I will never forget it. I realize this doesn’t mean I should let her run wild and forgo discipline, but I keep in mind my job is to guide her and challenge her to grow in her gifting not change her. God has unique plans for my daughter and I have no doubt a little tenacity will come in handy or He wouldn’t have created her that way.

Are you frustrated with some people in your life because they don’t see things the way you do? Our inclination would be to say, “We just don’t see eye to eye” and steer away from them. Perhaps God knew that we would stay in our comfort zone, see and experience the world merely from our perspective if we weren’t challenged to do otherwise. With all the choices at the museum I never would have taken the time to watch a baby chick hatch, but what a beautiful memory I have sharing this with my daughter.

A Vision: Clash of the Kingdoms

Last night I was playing cards in the kitchen with my daughter Jessica. My husband was watching a show about storms in the other room. I could not see the TV, but I could hear what was being said and I must confess it put my imagination into over load. Rolling through my mind was image after image of devastation, lives lost, homes decimated and people overwhelmed with every kind of emotion as record numbers of tornados ripped through the United States. I found myself asking “God, why is all this happening?” The show ended with one man speaking…a pastor. He said, “When these things happen we are no longer black, white or of any race. We come together as one….and I couldn’t be prouder of America. None of these “things” matter, it’s about people. We will get through this, together.”

Later that evening I fell asleep in front of the TV and woke up around 1am to Glenn Beck. He was talking about all the uprisings that have taken place in the Middle East. The media sold this as a young generation seeking freedom from the oppression of their leaders, increased education and a better life for their families. For many I believe this is true however, Glenn showed another layer, which was not reported by the media, the socialist agenda and its three primary leaders who were in the midst of these revolts. One of these leaders was teaching at a Socialist conference and he said all nations in the middle east would come together with Hamas and the Muslim Brotherhood to destroy their common enemy Israel, the Jewish Nation and United States capitalism.

Then God gave me the following vision.

I saw a young generation of people ranging in age from teens to late 20’s amassing in a square somewhere in the Middle East. I was drawn up higher and the scene zoomed back to reveal the entire landmass of the middle-eastern region. It zoomed back farther still and widened to include the United States. At this point I understood there to be an equal number of this age group amassing in the United States as well. A new layer was added to the image. I could no longer see the landmasses, but what appeared to be wind swirling above each separate area somewhat like the weather satellite picture above. The wind over the Middle East swirled toward the left in a counter clockwise direction. It was fueled by evil emotion that was so heavy it was palpable. The wind over the United States swirled to the right in a clockwise direction its energy was clearly good. The winds on each side were swirling faster and faster as they grew larger and gained intensity. The winds swelled past their original boarders and each side was growing toward the middle. I knew they were going to clash. I was getting anxious because I thought this is not good there is no way to stop it. I knew that there were real people under these forces and I was concerned for the kids. The evil forces over the Middle East were relishing in anticipation. I could hear their thoughts “We have done it, we are mighty, we will finally crush them.” As I looked back at the force over the US I felt nothing but passion and overwhelming love. As the two winds began to clash over the waters I looked to God for understanding…to my astonishment, He was smiling and I immediately felt peace. He said, “What the enemy has planned for evil I will use for good.” The enemy heard this and went into a panic, he tried to pull the force back and stop the clash, but the thrust forward had such momentum it could not be stopped. He was furious. So much hate went into building an army he was sure it was indefensible, but as soon as it clashed with the goodness of God all the hate melted away.

Some thoughts…I am by no means trying to trivialize the devastation of the recent tornados or even suggest that God caused these disasters. Please don’t go there. I am merely highlighting the heart of our nation shining through these horrific situations. Likewise, I am not suggesting the people of the Middle East are in general “bad” people. Just bringing to light a heart I did not know existed within these recent events.

Having said that, there are so many levels to this vision I believe if you pray about it God will reveal truth about what’s happening not only in the world today, but our nation and even our own backyards. I will leave that to God to expand upon and give you understanding if you seek it.

My take away...the clash of kingdoms is inevitable. On some level it’s happening every day. Are we able to stand up under it? How about the young ones in my vision? I feel very strongly that we need to be sowing into the younger generation. Day after day I encounter young people who are Fatherless and Motherless. They are being blown about by the wind because they have been left to raise them selves and afforded very little understanding or foundation of who God is. It’s heartbreaking. Make no mistake God is passionate about this abandoned generation. We need to grab the hands of those who have been decimated by the storms of life, who are reeling from every emotion imaginable and say, "We will get through this, together".

Hearing God Through An Intersecting Thought

Last weekend my husband and I caught a 5 o’clock movie. Since we did not have time to eat beforehand, we went to IHop afterwards for a late dinner. The restaurant was pretty quiet and most of the tables were empty because the “late night” crowd had not yet arrived. A young man at a table on the other side of the restaurant caught my attention. I thought, “He looks familiar…is that Bob?” I could not see very clearly across the restaurant so I grabbed my glasses (no old lady cracks J). When I put them on I noticed that although he looked somewhat similar it was not my friend. However, throughout dinner my attention kept coming back to this young man. I noticed that he was sitting by himself and had all the mannerisms of someone who frequently ate alone. Then I heard in my head, “Why do you think I said the name Bob?” Ok, this got my attention. Experience told me this was God’s voice so I asked, “What are you trying to say Lord?” He just repeated, “Bob” and then I got it. He was trying to tell me that this young man was very similar to my friend in his background, his intellect and most of all the depth of his loneliness. I got up and went to the hostess station and asked for a pen and a piece of paper. I came back to the table and began to write the name of my church, the location, the time we met the next morning and the website address. I then got up and went over to him. Needless to say, he was very surprised when I sat down. I slid the paper across the table and said “This is for you…if you choose to come I will introduce you to twenty kids your age and you will like them…if not then that’s ok too.” He looked over all the information and very skeptically said “ok”.

I believe there are many times when God is trying to get our attention and we brush it off as coincidence or just our imagination. This story is a perfect example of how God talks in intersecting thoughts. Let me explain. I was minding my own business, having dinner with my husband when God highlighted someone in the room. This was my first clue. He then gave me a name. The name of someone I knew to a depth of what his personal struggles were. This was used to give me insight into the person highlighted. Simple. So what do we do with this information? Please know that God is not giving you information for your entertainment or so that you “know” something about someone. He is giving you insights because He wants you to “do” something. That’s where the questions come in; “What about Bob?” “Why are you bringing him to mind?” “Lord, what would you have me do?” Notice in my story I did not go over and tell the young man everything that was revealed about him. That would have been insensitive, not to mention awkward and it was not what I was asked to do. I was simply asked to extend an invitation no more and no less.

To be completely honest, for a split second it crossed my mind I could be rejected in this task. The young man could have said “You are a crazy woman… go away.” Honestly, that has never happened and if it did I would have thought God is just softening his heart. It often takes people several invitations before they actually say yes. It’s not about the results. We are not going to know the impact of half of the things we were asked to do until we get home and see the highlight reel. In the meantime, what a blessing to be a part of what God is doing here and now.

Some things to ponder: Before approaching people check your heart. Love and humility will open doors for people to receive. God will ask you to; uplift, encourage, invite, bring into the fold, love, show compassion or be a friend. He will not ask you to judge, admonish, correct, convict of sin or rub in past hurts. If you are hearing something negative make sure you are sensitive to the information given. I find that when I am given these kinds of insights it is a call for me to pray and intercede in my personal quiet time on their behalf.

Hearing God Through A Word

Wednesday night before bed I was reading some words that I had received over the past couple of years. Two examples of hearing God stuck out that I want to share. In June of last year, I was given the verse Psalm 44:4 and told God was speaking victory over me. Little did I know that reading this truth again was designed to get me through the very next day. I woke up in the middle of the night to a loud knock on my door; I jumped out of bed and stood straight up. After a moment I realized that there was no one at my door, but now I was wide-awake and so I decided to get some work done. I looked at the clock and it was 4:44am. “Of course it is!” I grumbled at the clock as my husband happily snored away. I got up and did laundry and then paid some bills. When I discovered that I had an added expense that did not fit in my budget, I was officially in a bad mood! The day did not get better from there, but I will spare you the discouraging details. By the time night fell I was crawling into bed and telling God, “I just need this day to end.” The verse Psalm 44:4 came to mind again. God tried to tell me before my day ever started that it would be a challenge. Dare I say He even knocked on my door at 4:44am to try to get my attention? I was so busy reacting to my day, not one time did I stop to pray or ask God what to do about any of the situations that came up. He spoke victory over me, but I did not pursue it. Most often when we get a word it requires our participation.

This brings me to the second example I wanted to share. The last part of the word I received was this statement, “Know that when you sit on the porch and you look up to the stars and you seek for my face that I am there and I hear your voice.” I have to say this is just about the sweetest thing God has ever said to me. A few days before I received this word I was out late grocery shopping. It must have been close to 11:00pm when I got home. Everyone was asleep on this beautiful summer night. I looked up to the sky and said out loud “I know you are up there…I love you.” This was His way of saying, “I love you” too. If I had been thinking more clearly the message I heard on Wednesday night would have been “you have a difficult day coming up, talk to me…I will listen and by the way I have victory for your situations.”

Hearing God is not some freaky, weird occurrence that only happens occasionally. It does not need to be accompanied by angels singing, mist on the ground or glowing lights. It is completely natural and simply a Father loving His children and taking the time to walk out life with them.

Some things to ponder: It is best to know the character and integrity of someone you receive a word from. Write down the words you receive and pray into them. Some words are not fulfilled for years, but you will notice confirmations, which are encouraging while waiting. Never make life decisions based on a word that is not prayed about, confirmed and discussed with someone you trust who is walking in a “Godly” manner. Finally, God does nothing against His character so knowing Him makes His voice that much clearer.

Qualified Compassion?

A few years ago my daughter was having a difficult time in school. Not with any particular subject, but with a particular little girl. Every day when I picked her up I would ask, “How was your day?” I never failed to hear about the antics of one young lady in her class; “she is so rude”, “she cuts in line”, “she tells everyone what to do”. Well, you get the picture.

Every day my advice remained the same “let it roll off”. I was not telling her to be a doormat, but to just stay out of her path and be nice in spite of her rudeness. Soon thereafter, I had the opportunity to speak to the girl’s mother. I asked how she was and she began to tell me how their lives had been turned upside down. Her father was in the hospital and they did not expect him to make it. She had been picking her children up from school every day, driving to the hospital and staying until the kids fell asleep on the sofa. She would then scoop them up, load them in the car and drop them into bed after 10pm every night. My daughter’s classmate was not only off her schedule, but physically and mentally exhausted. She had no control over the fact that she was losing her precious grandfather so she was trying to control the little world around her at school.

Anyone hearing this story would naturally have compassion on the little girl and give her miles of grace. I wonder…why does compassion need qualification? Often we don’t know and frankly never will understand why some people act the way they do, but knowing is not what is important. It’s how we respond. There is an old saying “hurting people hurt people”. Next time you are faced with a grumpy, disgruntled, “unlovely” person, give them your best they need your compassion more than you will ever know.

...don't forget the oil

After several years of mid-week class at Bethany Lutheran Church I was ready to be confirmed. In the Lutheran church this is your first public confession of faith followed by your first communion. Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins and even my Godmother came from out of town for the ceremony. Although, this is an event few 15 year olds would forget, I remember this day for a very different reason. It was the first morning I can remember waking up from a dream that would later come true.

I came downstairs to find my mother and aunt setting the table for breakfast. I told my aunt that I had a dream she was pregnant and had a little girl. Her mouth dropped as she paused to look at my mother and then back at me. She told me that she was 5 ½ weeks pregnant and had not told anyone yet. I think I was as shocked as she was and yes, some eight months later my aunt welcomed a beautiful baby girl. And so it began, I would dream about ladies in my neighborhood, when they got pregnant and the sex of the baby before it was announced. For the longest time I only dreamed about babies and then it began to expand to other events that would later come to pass.

Certainly not every dream is a “God dream” and it has taken me some time to discern the difference. One thing that stands out is the vivid detail. Years later I cannot only can see them playing out like a movie in my head, but I feel the emotions all over again. I believe that God speaks in dreams for many reasons. For me, it was a sure fire way for Him to get past all my filters and walls of doubt so I could just hear Him. When I get into times where I really need to hear His voice and it’s not getting through my thick head in prayer I ask Him for a dream. I have just experienced such a time.

There have been several words lately about hard times to come in the next few years. These words are given so we have time to prepare. However, I began to go beyond basic preparation to worry. As I was trying to understand all the words and discern what was going to happen, I asked God for a dream and He gave me one, but not the kind I was expecting. That night I indeed dreamed about the future, about events that would take place and when I woke up I had only a moment to realize this before the details were taken from me. How odd? I could see myself in the dream, but had no idea what was happening around me and why. Then I realized what He was trying to say. “What happens and when it happens is not what is important.” I had been spending so much time worrying about specific scenarios and trying to prepare for them, I was focusing on the wrong thing entirely. Be prudent and prepare yes, but know that it is God that will sustain you. Storehouses can be filled with many things, but in this season I believe most importantly it needs to be filled with knowing Him. Knowing His character, His ways and His heart so that we can recognize Him. When things happen we will be able to discern, “This is my Father’s hand and I trust in His ways” or “This is not my Father and I will not be drawn into fear.”

One last thing…as I was pondering all of this, the parable of the 10 virgins came to mind. (Matthew 25:1-13) Although there are many lessons within this parable the one I specifically thought of was the lack of oil for the lamps. (Oil representing the presence of the Holy Spirit.) Half of the virgins were unable to keep their lamps lit because they lacked oil when the time came. For what good is a lamp if you cannot light it? Likewise, what good are we, if we cannot shine in the dark times? The darker it gets the greater the need for light. In this time of preparation don’t forget the oil.

I Am Second

This week I had the privilege of working at the I Am Second Kansas City launch event at Union Station. Although I had my head buried in a script and was totally immersed in the tech I couldn’t help to hear the speakers. I found myself several times drawn into the raw emotion as person after person shared their life story. Each one “laid it on the table” for all to see and they did it because they had found a hope that transformed their lives. With all their heart, they wanted to give that hope away and if that meant getting “naked” in front of 1,000 people then it was worth it to them.

The speakers were vastly different. They were different ages; races, economic backgrounds and each struggled with a different issue. They all had an impact, but their individual stories reached different people in the audience. They were unique and so are you. The thing is we all have a story. Are you willing to tell it? I’m not asking you to “get naked” in front of 1,000 people, but what if your story could reach just one person. Would you be willing to “lay it on the table” to let God use your individual story to reach someone who struggles with the very thing you have overcome?

I once read something that has greatly impacted how I think about being transparent and real with people. “The enemy uses what is hidden against us (to torment with guilt and regret). The Lord uses what has been brought to light for His glory.” The testimony of a transformed life is an amazing tool. This doesn’t mean we have it all together and are now “perfect”, but people need to know that no matter where they are, no matter where they have come from there is a hope greater than themselves.

If you have been praying, “God use me, make my life count for something” would you consider a different prayer. Ask for opportunities to simply share your story. Ask for a “divine appointment” this week to affect just one person. If I know anything about you dear sister, it is that with all your heart you desire to give away the hope that transformed your life.

"Fight, Fight, Fight"

The challenge was made, the time was set, two sides would meet and it would be settled. At first an hour seemed like an eternity, but as time wore on and the fog of anger cleared I realized what lay ahead. Confrontation. I began to pace, thoughts flooded my mind, “Maybe I just should have taken the insult and kept my mouth shut?” “What if I loose?” “Will it end in further humiliation?” My heart beat wildly as fear set in. I began contemplating a way out…an escape. Then I thought, maybe the other guy is afraid too. Maybe he was looking for a way out and wouldn’t even show up. I would be off the hook with bragging rights to boot. I smiled as I imagined retelling the story “…in the end he was too scared to face me.” I went outside my spirit light with new hope. I stood on the hill of my front yard, hands on my hips expecting victory to be laid at my feet without a fight. My brothers came up and stood beside me and then they turned and said something unexpected “It’s time.” Before I knew it they had strapped a pair of boxing gloves on my hands and it was then that I saw him coming up the hill. “He’s here” my mind reeled, looking from the gloves to my opponent, it sunk in, this is really going to happen. The last thing I thought of as I stood face to face with my enemy was my father’s words “Remember who you are.” We began to circle, sizing each other up. Finally, the tension was too much; I took one leap forward and swung as hard as I could with my right hand. It was a clean gut shot. My opponent was on the ground hugging his stomach. One clearly placed hit and the fight was over. Victory was mine.

My one and only fight as an 11 year-old girl left me with some very clear life lessons. I was not a scrapper as a kid, but I have learned to become one as an adult. Let me explain. You are in a fight. Your opponent is not only real, but he is guaranteed to show up every time. There are no free passes and victory will not be laid at your feet without confrontation. Although your brothers may be standing beside you cheering you on it is your fight to win.

What are you fighting for? Hardly a day goes by that we are not confronted with something; lies, fear, doubt, finances, health or worldly expectations. We fight for the very ground we stand on, the foundations of who and what we believe in. We fight for the purposes that have been placed in our hearts. We fight to remain on the path and not let distractions or discouragement knock us down. Make no mistake the enemy is circling and sizing us up. In the midst of this chaos, however, there is a simple truth that the enemy knows and secretly hopes you don’t.

The last thing I remember my father saying is the same thing your Father is saying today. “Remember who you are.” You are not called to be harassed. You are not called to live in fear. You are not called to lose. The word is full of stories wherein God went before people and delivered victory, but they still had to fight for it. You have everything you need to be successful…you have Christ. He is the right hand, which has already been wielded at the enemy and with one clearly placed hit has taken him out. Stand on the hill, look your enemy in the eye and fight, for victory is yours.

...there are always people watching

I am a people watcher…always have been and probably always will be. People will tell you so much about themselves if you will just watch. When I was in school there was a girl in my choir class. I couldn’t help to notice she was always happy. She was one of the “smart kids” and all the teachers liked her. You would never find her talking badly about anyone or hanging out with the wrong kids. She went to youth group and was popular with her friends. Most of the “cool” kids made fun of her because she was a “goodie-two-shoes”, but she was nice to everyone even those who made fun of her. I often wondered if she knew what people said about her and looking back I suspect she did. We couldn’t have been more opposite. I was not a teacher’s favorite, I was not popular in fact I pretty much blended in and was not really noticed. I am sure I said more about other people than I should have and was often in the wrong place at the wrong time on the weekends. In spite of our differences, there was a part of me that admired her and wished I could somehow get a little piece of her happiness. After a few years of being rebellious I was confronted with an opportunity. Sitting in my living room, smoking a Virginia Slims and defiant as ever, I was asked if I would put everything aside and pursue faith. The first thing I thought of was this girl from my choir class. My life was anything but peaceful at this point and I still wanted a little bit of the happiness she had. Isn’t it interesting that a person whom I never actually had a conversation with had such an impact on my life? She had something so noticeably different it radiated out of her and I wanted it. Actions speak louder than words and there are always people watching.

The "Pie Incident"

Mmm, chocolate crème pie. I remember going into Tippins restaurant and scanning the cases of freshly made pies. There were many to choose from, but the best was French Silk. As a young family, we could not always afford to purchase pie so one day I decided to make it from scratch. I gathered all the ingredients, put it together and set it in the refrigerator for dessert. Later that evening while making dinner, I noticed the refrigerator was minus one chocolate crème pie. I couldn’t imagine what had happened. Did my husband sneak in and help himself to an early snack? I went to investigate. After talking I realized he was not the culprit and this was quickly becoming a situation for a Father to sort out.

He called our children in to his workroom one at a time and asked if they knew anything about the missing pie. The first three had convinced him of their innocence and that left only one, our five-year-old daughter Karlie Jo. “Karlie, do you know what happened to mom’s chocolate pie?” “No daddy” wide-eyed and innocently she replied. “Are you sure Karlie?” He asked again. “I don’t know anything about the pie.” she stated. My husband then reminded Karlie of one very basic principle in our home. If you do something wrong and confess there is mercy, but if you lie about it there is a greater consequence. He asked one last time. “Is there anything you want to tell me Karlie?” She looked down at the ground for a long while intently considering her answer. Then she looked him right in the eyes and said “no”. My husband scooped Karlie Jo up, held her before the mirror and showed her what he had been looking at all along. A beautiful little face covered in chocolate crème pie.

Karlie’s father would have preferred to use the “pie incident” as a teaching moment with little consequence. If Karlie had the right heart she would have put her father in a position to show mercy. He would have set her upon His knee, wiped the pie clean from her face, wrapped His arms around her and taught out of love.

How many times have I let fear, embarrassment or just plain pride get in the way of mercy? How many times have I put off lessons, endured additional consequences only to find my self back in the same place again? It’s somewhat like trying to run away on a merry-go-round. And, from someone who already knows the things I am so desperately trying to hide. There is no use denying it, He can see the pie all over my face. That only leaves one thing to do, humble my heart (become teachable), trust in His love (daddy to daughter) and crawl on up. There is mercy to be found sitting upon our Father’s knee.

Do It!

Ah, summer vacation. I remember as a kid sitting in a stuffy classroom, gazing out the window and counting down the days until freedom! Every year my family and I would pack up our green station wagon (with wood on the sides) and drive to our cousin’s farm in Wisconsin. The nine-hour drive was awful, but it was so much fun visiting we endured it year after year. The farm was filled with cows, pigs, horses, dogs and a new litter of cats each summer.

While there, I would jump out of bed every morning anticipating the daily activities. I could choose to ride the dirt bike, shoot cans with the BB gun, swing in a barn full of hay or fish in the creek. When I wasn’t doing that, I would often help my cousin with the chores. We would feed and water the animals, clean out the horse barn, pick vegetables in the garden and snap beans for dinner. I was having a blast because basically I was too young to know these things weren’t supposed to be fun.

My absolute favorite thing to do however was ride the horses. I would beg my cousin to saddle them up and take us out in the pasture. They had a sweet little mare named Sheba. She was white as snow and always behaved. I loved riding her. In the beginning, we would go slowly, but by the middle of our vacation I had become confident enough to take the horse from a trot (which truthfully is not comfortable) to a full run.

One particularly cool August evening we decided to ride a little farther so we crossed the road into a neighboring pasture. The plan was to allow the horses enough distance to give them their head and let them RUN! Now this was real freedom – exactly what I had been waiting for. When we got to the far end of the pasture my cousin started out first and I quickly followed. Before I knew it we were in a full run, everything was perfect, the horse had a nice smooth gate, I was laughing into the wind, in complete control of this 1000lb animal, when my world came to a crashing halt, literally. The horse ducked as I went flying over its head into a corn patch. I hit the ground rolling to a stop and as I looked up trying to make sense of what just happened I swear I saw a smirk on that horses’ face.

As the horse happily munched on fresh field corn, my cousin came around to collect me. I was trying to get my legs back, wobbling to a stance when she informed me I had to get back on the horse. What? No way! My confidence had just taken a flying leap and that was the last thing I wanted to do. Unfortunately, it was either that or limp the full three miles back home. I reluctantly chose the horse. I think I finally stopped shaking by the time we reached home.

Have you ever taken a serious detour into a corn patch? A time when you felt in complete control when BAM your feet were pulled right out from underneath you. These unplanned and often unavoidable bumps in the road are something we all have to deal with. Here are a few things I have held onto that have gotten me through. The first, God is Sovereign, He sits on the throne and nothing misses His gaze. In other words, He sees me, He knows exactly what is going on in my life and the affect it is having on my heart. The second, nothing surprises Him. I may be floored, but He has a plan, I just need to ask. I hope to come to a place where I start asking as I am flying through the air and not wait until I hit the ground. Lastly, real freedom lies in our choices. Every detour is an opportunity to make a choice. Will I let it pull me off my path or will I ask what to do and then DO IT! I choose, no matter how much my legs are wobbling, to get back on that horse and RUN toward home. Who’s with me?

Say Cheese

When my daughter Jamie turned sixteen she wanted to have a party. So, she went about making invitations and planning an evening with movies, pizza and friends. Unbeknownst to her, as she handed out invitations, we were calling each person on the list and secretly moving the party to one weekend earlier. On this evening, she came home and went downstairs to find twenty-five of her friends screaming “Happy Birthday”. The look of utter surprise on her face is something I will never forget.

Instead of a movie night, I had planned a scavenger hunt with a bit of a twist. We divided the kids into four groups making sure each one was balanced. They had at least one “life of the party” who was daring, one who was quiet and needed encouragement, one who was not shy and would approach strangers and the rest a good balance of friends so they felt comfortable in their group. The mix was vital because as I said, this was not an ordinary scavenger hunt it was more about “doing things” than “collecting things”. For example; Eat a small order of fries without using your hands, Take a picture of your entire group in a port-a-potty, Sing “I’m a little teapot” in a coffee shop, Pump gas or load groceries for a stranger or Return to the party wearing someone else’s shoes. Every item on the list was worth points and the team with the most points would win. Each car taking the kids around town had an adult driver who would not only videotape and take pictures, but also make sure the kids were safe as they ventured out.

The Scavenger hunt has become a tradition in our family and we have done it each time one of the girls has turned sixteen. It has been most interesting to find that no matter who was invited, if the teammates were mixed properly it was a success. The life of the party was never afraid to try anything and often encouraged others to step out and do things they normally wouldn’t. The quiet ones were the strategists and put order to the game ensuring the most points in the allotted time period. While the friends made everything more relaxed and easy going, the servants made points by helping people.

Which teammate are you? Are you an encourager who pulls others along side, a risk taker who isn’t afraid to do things and go places others would not, a servant who enjoys giving, a strategist who can organize, a mentor who uses their life experiences to help others (because you know what it’s like to walk in their shoes), or a friend who is there through thick and thin? Whichever you are, we need you in the mix.

Each party ended by watching videos, viewing pictures and swapping stories. It was so fun to see what they actually accomplished. They did things, not of their own choosing and without question, simply because they were asked to: new things, fun things, embarrassing things, intimidating things, things that simply needed to be done by someone. Sounding familiar? One final thought, I love surprises as much as the next gal, but I don’t want to be surprised in the end. I hope that when my party is over and it’s time to review the “video’s and pictures” they reflect a life of “doing” and not collecting. Hey, Smile and Say Cheese…your on my team!

Warning...Flying Stuffed Animals

Every morning I have the pleasure of helping Jessica get ready for school. In the beginning of the year, I had to guess whether or not to put on full riot gear in fear of being pummeled by stuffed animals or I could walk into the room without concern. I have since learned that her attitude depends on what activities are planned for the day. On the days she has Art and P.E. she is bouncing around with a smile on her face. On the days she has a math test she is stomping around citing the many reasons why school is “dumb”; “it’s boring, I can’t memorize times tables or I don’t feel like dealing with “so and so” today she is mean.” The whirlwind usually ends with, “I would just like to skip the third grade.”

I know exactly how she feels. I was never fond of math either. Personally, I still like Art and P.E. well you know what I mean anything creative is fun to learn. Taking “tests” however is another matter altogether.

A few years ago I went through a very tough personal situation. Trust me when I say that I wanted to throw a great number of stuffed animals at the wall, it would have hurt a lot less than hitting my head against it. I was talking with a friend about my situation when he told me something that I will never forget. He said “God is not testing you so you will fail, He is testing you so you will succeed.” This truly changed my perspective. Could this situation have been planned all along so that I would learn something? It’s more likely that I made a few bad decisions and as is God’s character, He would use my bad situation for good.

The test was how would I handle it? Would I continue to hit my head against the wall, blame myself or others (a destructive path which did not solve the problem and made me feel like a shrew), ignore it and hope it magically went away or walk the other direction toward a lasting solution.

Before I could answer that question there was one thing to resolve. This was not the first time I had been in this situation. Perhaps my lack of learning the lesson the first time had used up all my “grace tokens”. Did I hit my limit of patience for this particular subject? Would I face an “I told you so” or “Are we really here again Bonnie?” This is what I learned. His heart is not that of condemnation, but grace to restore.

We have things to learn, tests to go through. No matter what we are facing He has a solution. Not necessarily one without consequences, but because of His incredible compassion toward those He loves, you will not walk them out alone. He wants you to not only pass the test, He wants you to bounce out of bed every morning knowing that with His help you are going to ace it.

P.S. No actual stuffed animals were harmed during the time of this story.